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Finding the Opportunities in the Obstacles

Teresa Rose Souliotis, ALB '99

Teresa Rose Souliotis, ALB '99, was drawn to Harvard Extension School in 1991 for its reputable creative writing courses and decided to stay to finish the undergraduate degree she had begun eight years earlier at another school. Over the years she worked full-time while attending school, but eventually decreased her hours in order to become a full-time mother of two. She plans to pursue a career in writing.

Rose Souliotis

Dean Shinagel, faculty, graduates, guests, good afternoon. Today I finally receive a long-awaited diploma, and I remember how this past academic year felt somewhat surreal as graduation day materialized. Like many of you, I juggled a full-time job with school at night for so long that I seemed to lose count of the years.

At one time, in 1994, I had only eight courses left to complete and decided to quit my job to finish my degree in one year. Well, as we all know, life has its surprises that sometimes interrupt our academic plans: mine was a beautiful healthy girl born in February of 1995. So here I am, now the mother of two little girls, receiving my degree today after ten years of evening classes. During these years, and most especially since becoming a mother, people have often commented, "I don't know how you do it." Sometimes, I don't know how I did it either. But as I sat down to compose this speech, the answers for why I did it became apparent.

I believe that as adult students with multiple roles our college education is more complex and therefore our Commencement today is far more meaningful and rewarding than one gained through traditional routes. When I thought back to what it was inside of me that drove me to pursue my college education as an adult--what made me overcome many personal obstacles to get here--I realized I had a story that needed to be told so it might inspire others.

This story begins with my mother, who has always encouraged me to learn. Her father died when she was just four years old, and her family was poor. She and her siblings worked through high school to support my grandmother, who had such poor eyesight that she couldn't work. Although women's presence in college in the 1950s was not as prevalent as it is today, it could have been a reality for my mother; she had an excellent scholastic record and greatly wanted to attend. Knowing, however, that her family wouldn't be able to afford it, she studied business in high school, only to be told by her principal on her graduation day that she could have won a scholarship to college if only she had chosen college preparatory courses.

Growing up, I longed for her to have been able to have the opportunity to continue learning. I believe this was a major inspiration for setting my sights on a college degree. I wanted to get that education not only for myself but for her as well. I wanted to begin a new tradition for my family whereby a college education would be within our reach.

However, during my formative teenage years, my father began developing signs of mental illness. He often monopolized the dinner conversation with strange lectures. As any young daughter would, I listened to him. I loved him and trusted him. But his eyes grew wild when he spoke, and his words seemed irrational and they confused me. His moods became darker and he subjected my family to angry outbursts. He forbade us any type of social life and cloistered us at home. I lived in fear of my friends stopping by, unannounced, and discovering my secret life. I felt the stigma of shame that, unfortunately, still exists even in today's Prozac-friendly society. I experienced my father's untreated illness wreaking not only emotional but also financial havoc, as he gradually became unable to hold a job. By my senior year in high school, my family subsisted on food stamps and welfare.

My dream to go to college had now become a deep wish for freedom from the turmoil and embarrassment at home. I longed to escape to a campus dorm room. You can imagine my mixed emotions when I was awarded a full-tuition, four-year scholarship to UMass-Boston, a commuter school. I was thrilled that all my hard work had paid off and I had accomplished my goal, tuition free. Yet, I was filled with dread at having to live at home for four more years.

After freshman year, however, I felt I had no choice but to leave home. I needed to find the peace within myself that I could not find under my father's roof. Unfortunately, this decision, while granting me my freedom, was very painful because it meant taking a leave of absence from school. During this time, my sister and two brothers also were awarded full-tuition, four-year scholarships to college. Yet, one by one, they also dropped out during their freshman or sophomore years, unable to cope with life under the blanket of my father's illness. It smothered all our dreams.

After a few years passed, and I felt ready to tackle college again, I encountered yet another obstacle--I was no longer eligible to receive my scholarship. Years went by, then my father passed away after a three-year battle with cancer. Ironically, his last word was "free."

With help, I eventually moved beyond the shadows that lingered from my life with him. I felt ready again to pursue my dream of a college education, which was no longer just for me and my mother, but now for my brothers and sisters as well. I began searching for a challenging college program, finally discovering it at the Harvard Extension School.

I once believed my father's illness had robbed me of a college education. Now I see that it simply required me to take a nontraditional path to achieve it. It may have been harder to attain because of the various difficulties an adult confronts--but that's what makes today so joyous.

Mine is only one story. Many students who have passed through this Yard in the evening in the pursuit of knowledge and the fulfillment of dreams have their own stories. I urge each of you to reflect on your Harvard Extension School experiences and the reasons that brought you here--and kept you going. Find your voice and inspire others to persist in the pursuit of their dream--not just in spite of the obstacles, but because of them. For the experience is profound, the rewards rich. I applaud you for all your achievements.

Thank you and congratulations Class of '99.

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